By Brian Thacker

Brian Thacker, bus tour-leader extraordinaire, tells it how it really is in this funny, rollicking, absurd, ride through Europe.

Crew Manual Rule No. 5 : Crew must not engage in sexual activity on board the bus with passengers or fellow employees.

Crew Manual Rule No.2 : learn all names on day one.

Crew Manual Rule No.3 : don’t get lost.

But then, who follows the rules?

Brian Thacker confesses all as he reveals the best (and worst) of 20 trips as a tour leader around Europe. He tells how he fed passengers horse meat spag bog, hamburgers made from breakfast cereal and roosters’ testicles. How he left a passenger standing by the side of a motorway in France for three hours in his underwear clutching a purple toothbrush and how, along the way, he lost his driver, his cook, his bus, 10 brightly coloured canal bikes, a large church and eventually his patience.